Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Was Asked To Do A Review

when i was approached to do a review, it was completely out of the blue. but i could tell that only i (and the other thousand poor people who had their inboxes spammed with this shit) could do this review. so lets begin.

system optimizer 8.2 is a steaming pile of shit. the usefulness of this product is similar to placing a kitten into your cd drive, minus all the fun. after reading the product page i can tell that this program does as much to save you the hassle of unwanted windows based problems as an animated .gif of a man jumping on another mans crotch from a railing. as seen here.

also it must be pointed out that every single one of the features is available on your current system without this retarded program. it allows you to "Add/remove/edit startup items" holy shit, never been able to do that before. "Clear the history of sites you have visited" well son of a bitch. and my personal favorite "Prevents the "Insufficient disk space" problem" it makes it sound like that is a glitch and not because you fucking ran out of goddamn disk space.

aside from it being a program that you have to pay for that does absolutely nothing, it looks like a really easy way to get a virus. first of all in the requirements it works on windows fucking 95.(on a side note if you are reading this on a computer that is using 95 and wondering about why it is so slow IT IS BECAUSE YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM IS 15 GODDAMN YEARS OLD!) okay so it works on 95, hard to believe but i can understand (sort of) but then curveball! it is only 4.09 MB large, what is it a fucking .jpeg? i hope its goatse.

the best part is how they contacted me, through my email, which is a address. it is incompatible with my os.

well i will address this to the person who sent me the email, i had a lot of fun reviewing software i have never used and never will use. dont take this review in a bad way, i am always this big of a douchebag about everything, ever.

RATING: 1 thumb pointed at an upwards 45 degree angle with 2 and 7/16th stars

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Senior Speed

dennis hoppers character will be played by zac efron.

Sucker Punches At Inappropriate Times Are Always Funny

there are no exceptions.

I Hate Drawing Pictures That Dont Have Jokes In Them

i just dont like my drawings when they arent funny, mainly because i draw very crappy pictures and use none of the artistic techniques i know. i kind of feel like i am letting the 2 people (probably more like 0 people) who actually look at this website down.

The Most Desirable Creature Ever

he really revs my engine.

Monday, February 1, 2010

What Are You Talking About

chicks totally dig periodic table jokes. soon i am going to have to have escorts because of all the girls trying to even touch me.